Saturday, January 9, 2010
Perspective
The internet was not working on my computer earlier this week. Maybe a good thing. I just sat down and for the first time since my diagnosis spent a chunk of time reading about GIST (this is a great site http://www.gistsupport.org/for-new-gist-patients/faqs.php). As I read today it hit me that I have cancer. I just kept thinking I just have a tumor, it happens to have cancer in it but I don't have cancer running through my body. But no, I actually have what is called GIST cancer. Thankfully they found it early and the tumor is still small. I guess as I read today I realized how much this will change my life. Even after they get it out it can recurr, metastasize, etc. At some point soon I will be a cancer survivor. Approximately 15 of every million get it. I knew I should have been buying lotto tickets :)! Generally it is found in people ages 50+ and most often in the stomach or sometimes the bowels. Mine is in pretty rare location, the duodenim in the small intestine. It is covering my ampula (I believe it is the opening to the bile duct). That is what makes the surgery really tricky. It sounds like we may start with chemo first to shrink the tumor and try to get it small enough to do a smaller surgery. If they can't get it small enough they'll do what is called a whipple surgery. From what I understand the chemo is much more mild than traditional chemos. I think it comes in pill form, doesn't cause my hair to fall out and doesn't make people too sick. It's funny how I always thought how horrible it would be to lose your hair (I'm sure it is a difficult thing) but how secondary that becomes when you have a life threatening illness. It really puts life in perspective. Well, enough random thoughts for the day. I am loving my kids, date nights with my hubby and fun times with friends. Enjoying all of it and hoping that this portion of our ride won't last too long, hopefully by summer we'll have it beat and be laying on a beach somewhere together. Thanks for the prayers and all the love. We are so blessed!
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20 comments:
You are amazing! To be going through all of this and still having such a great attitude is incredible. You are beautiful and this will only make your family stronger, we love you and are thinking about you. Thanks for keeping us posted.
Linds - nothing as powerful as perspective. Anytime something seems important than something large threatens anyone in your family all that you thought was important before pales. It is in those moments that our priorities align. I always wonder if we get a tiny glimpse of life through Heavenly Father's eyes in that moment where life becomes crystal clear on what really matters. Linds - in all reality you are a hero to me but that happened way before this cancer diagnosis. You always have been an inspiration to me. In the way you live life, the way you mother and the friend that you are. You will always be one of my very favorite friends of all time! I don't have any doubt that you will fight this. It may have it's ugly and scary moments but from my sister-in-law's experience there are also life-changing powerful spiritual experiences that balance it all out.
I hope this summer you will be lying on a beach somewhere too!!! That will be just what the Dr. ordered! Love you! You continue to amaze me in every way!
We love you Linds! You've been in our family's prayers regularly! Remind Mat how lucky he is. ;)
I've been thinking about you and I'm glad to hear a little bit how you are doing with all of this. You are in my prayers and you are a great example.
Amber
You truly are an amazing woman...you never cease to amaze me. When this is all over and you are laying on that beach I am sure like this will seem like such a small bump in the road, but one that will make you and your family closer and stronger. We love you so much and are praying for you daily! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you. Love you!
You are an amazing person and have an amazing family to support you on this journey. We are thinking and praying for you through this....
Amanda (Vassau) Buser
sending love and prayers for a speedy recovery!
I LOVE YOU LINDS! Isn't it interesting how thoughts come when you sit down to blog! This was very touching and sobering and I hate that you have to go through this. I would take it in a heartbeat for you, but I do know from my "vast" life experience which is 8 years more than yours(!) that we can learn and grow so much through the trils we experince in life. Read about Angels on my blog and know that you are taken care of...especially right now. You are and "angel" to so many that goodness that you have shred with your infectios desire to help others is coming back to help you! Hang in there...know how loved you are by so many...especially your oldest sis!
You are so great Linds...You are a great example to us all. I have been thinking about cutting my hair off so I can donate it to locks of love for awhile now. I am scared of change to some degree. My hair has been like a security blanket to me. I have had long hair for so long that I don't know any different. Now hearing about your diagnosis has sealed the deal. I know you said you won't be losing your hair. But in honor of you I am going to cut my hair and donate it so that someone can enjoy the wig. So hears to you and to change. You will kick this cancer in the butt.
Linds, You will be in our prayers. I am amazed at how positive you sound through all of this. I'll keep checking back for updates and please let us know if there is anything we can do for you. I love your family and am thinking about you. Love you!!
We continue to pray for you. So glad the chemo isn't the awful stuff. My mom has been on the chemo pill for over 10 years now, and hasn't lost her hair or gotten too sick. So, hopefully it will do the trick and everything will be over and in the past soon!
Lindsay-I just clicked on your blog from facebook, and I can't believe you are going through this. You are so strong and have a great family and support system, and I'm sure everything will be ok for you. We are thinking about you and praying for you! Btw-Tom and I have a blog, if you want an invite just email me at tswillardson@yahoo.com.
Linds- I am so saddened by this news! I am so sorry you and your young family have to go through this right now. You are one amazing lady though, and I know you will be strong through the whole process. Thank you for keeping your blog updated. I'll be checking back often for updates. I will be praying for you. Love ya!
Linds, I sit here with tears rolling down my cheeks... I can totally say DITTO to Rachel's comment and add too that I have always admired the woman that you are. True friends inspire us to be better and do better, you are one of those. I hope and pray that God gives you the comfort and peace that you seek at this time, and sends added strength to you to endure all that's coming your way. I love you so much and will keep you ALL in my prayers. Thanks for the update. Keep them coming!!! God bless~
linds, you are such a great attitude about your situation that i find inspiring. yes, you are going to beat this and in the process you are going to show how a person can rise about any challenge with grace and dignity. i love you!
Love you girly!!
D
Lins, I did it...I chopped my hair. You can see pictures on our blog. I hope you are doing well. We are thinking about you.
You will be in my prayers.
Hi Lindsay! You don't know me, but I knew your husband very well from BYU. He and his friends Dave, Matt, Brian, John & Stephanie, were great examples and so much fun to hang out with. I always admired their love for life and their testimonies. I see that he married someone like him! I just saw where he posted on facebook that it is your year anniversary, so having known nothing about it, came to your blog and read the last things you posted. It sounds like all the treatment helped and I just wanted to say even though I don't know you, what you wrote is a strength and example to me. The Lord is miraculous and gracious and loving and I am sure you know that more than anyone this past year. Love your adorable family and just wanted to say hello.
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